March in Place

Today is the first anniversary of the reign of Pope Francis. Congratulations! Great first year.

Continuing my investigation into holidays I threw a bunch of made-up holidays at the wall to see what would stick. First I tried,...

Just Another Made-Up Holi-Day! First Hit! It is already taken! it is the same as Sweetest Day, and in part a retaliation to Sweetest Day alleging that Sweetest day is a day thought up in the marketing department of greeting card companies to fill an empty spot on the calendar. Have something sweet.

Then I tried,...

Slap Your Self in the Face Day! Too late!!! The search yields three results:

Slap Your Face Day!
National Slap Your Husband in the Face Day! (same day as super-bowl Sunday,... hmmm). And who can forget the ever popular,...
Slap Your Face Twice-a Day!

Do we really need to celebrate that? Decide on your own how to celebrate that. What is a totally weird, like 'there couldn't possibly be one those' kind of things to celebrate? Maybe I'll try for,...

National Brussels Sprouts Day! Got one! Only to be exceeded by the equally mundane,...

Eat Brussels Sprouts Day! Fortunately for me I will be on vacation on both of those days and unable to attend.

Alligator Day! Celebrated in Louisiana and other parts of the south, like Kentucky. Didn't know that, but it also exists in one form or another as,...
Gator Day. There are maybe 40 or 50 of these, I didn't feel like counting them all up. Some are associated with football teams, but many are not. I should have probably guessed that.

I will try a couple more attempts at fake-holiday creation.

Roll Top Desk Day! No! How did they miss this one! Roll top desks are still made, so just wait until the marketing department hears about this! We are sure to have a Roll Top Desk Day soon. Maybe in autumn during the crazy back to school rush. You can sell anything that has to do with desks, papers and pencils at that time of year.

How about celebrating a good old fashioned,...

Control-Alt-Del Day! Nope! it doesn't exist! Can you believe it? (I allow for the possibility that it could have been either deleted or is still in reboot, or that it may be a running process, or that it may have stopped running and an error report is even now being generated. Any work done on that holiday is, of course, lost if you didn't back it up).

To celebrate this one you should hold something down and press something else while clicking your heels together and saying, 'there's no place like the internet, there's no place like the internet'. It will be a short celebration followed by a blue screen.

I guess that means I invented those holidays. As the inventor of these days I am going to raffle them off in a silent auction. Send your sealed bids along with your best bribes to the address above, or below, it really doesn't matter, and I'll use them to go on a cruise and think up other fake holidays to raffle away when I get back.

Marching through March

Today is the birthday of the Girl Scout organization. It is even GS Month! Happy Birthday, Girls!

Outside of that, there isn't a lot going on.

Looking ahead on all the websites I can find that spot-light holidays, there seems to be no end to the craziness of it in the days ahead. A steady parade of days constantly marching through March. But, I have had enough, so if you want to know what to celebrate on your own there are tons of websites you could go to and find out what this current: month, week, and day is being celebrated for. Just google 'holidays' and get ready! It'll take you all day.

I think I will shift tactics and spot-light some holidays that don't even exist yet. This is like having the kids throw darts at the dartboard and seeing what you come up with. We'll start out celebrating,...

Affordable Care Act Rejoicing Day! This one does not exist; I checked. Surprised? First, ACA will have to work, then it will have to be a good deal--affordable, and then people will have to like it enough to celebrate it. You may have to wait a while to celebrate this one.

March Moon Festival! I thought I'd just make one up, but there are actually a bunch of these the all over the world. Part of it is the alliteration. Just too tempting. I bet there are also moon festivals in May. This festival suffers from a derth of publicity, and also from being in the wrong time of the year weather-wise. But, there are lots of March moon festivals. I struck out here. The celebration actually does exist. But, go celebrate this one anyway and have a good time, it's okay.

Check Your Tires Wednesday! This one certainly does not exist. There are, however, endless Tire Tuesday celebrations. I think that is because of the marketing departments who so love alliteration. I should have guessed that. But, there is no reason you can't celebrate this same thing on Wednesday. Especially if you missed checking your tires on the last Tire Tuesday celebration. Tire Tuesday seems to be celebrated all over the world, and on many different Tuesdays as well. Kind of a perpetual celebration of PSI!

Melvin Day! Again, I am thwarted in my attempt to invent a bogus day. There are Melvin Days all over the world. There are both people by that name and celebrations by that name. The celebrations by that name are usually in celebration of people by that name. I never would have guessed at so many famous Melvins.

Just goes to show, we have celebrations that we haven't even heard of. I tried to come up with two more bogus celebration days, first I tried Jughead Day, and then Knucklehead Day. I thought Knucklehead Day would go nicely with ACA Rejoicing Day, but both Jughead Day and Knucklehead day are already taken. So, happy Jughead Day and Happy Knucklehead day in advance for the next time they come up on the calendar.

One last try, Burned Toast Day! And,... we have a winner! There is no Burned Toast Day! As a bogus celebration day this has traction! It has all the traction of Tire Tuesday and can be celebrated just as often! So, burn some toast and have a big 'ol time!

Also, try inventing your own celebration day. Let me know how it works out.

Missed a day!

I'm going through the month of March and trying to celebrate as many of the celebrations days as I can in an effort to decide just how badly we need so very many celebrations!

Yesterday came and went without any celebration on my part. A shame, because I missed many great celebrations days! Sometimes you just get busy, the cars run off the rails and you go all day setting them back up before you find out that it is,...

Fill Our Staplers Day! This one is also celebrated in November. No wonder we have so many celebration days when we are celebrating the filling of our staplers twice a year. The country's birthday only gets remembered once! I don't know why filling the staplers ranks higher than that! Anyway, I missed it, so my stapler is empty. Now what am I supposed to do? Wait until November when it comes around again? But, I have an excuse, I was napping because it was,...

Napping Day! Caught me napping! Nothing woke me. I don't even know if the phone rang, which it may have since it was,...

Land Line Telephone Day! I don't think this one came down to us from General Washington, Betsy Ross, or Ben Franklin. Probably not even from Joe Franklin. It probably came from the marketing department at the telephone company. We get about 30 calls a week on our land line. about 5 of them are from people who matter, and the rest are telemarketers. I am paying too much money to make it easy for the telemarketers to call me about things I'm not interested in and wasting time I don't have to give them. I may not be celebrating this day next year. I could save over 300.00 a year, not to mention the time and aggravation. And, there would be one less day to have to celebrate!

Mario Day! If your name is Mario, take yourself out to lunch.

Salvation Army Day! A worthy organization. They help people and don't use taxes to do it. They also tell people about Jesus Christ. They run homeless shelters, serve meals to the poor, and salvage old furniture. Not bad. I feel a little more like celebrating this than the thing about refilling a stapler, important though that may be.

US Paper Money Day! Considering how much less it is worth day by day, I wouldn't brag.

Women & Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day! Great, but why limit it according to gender? Doesn't everyone need to be aware of this?

Middle Name Pride Day! Considering the oddity of some middle names I have to wonder at this one. On the one hand it is just a group of phonemes, but on the other it is still just a group of phonemes. But, if it's all ya' got, then it's all ya' got. Go ahead and be proud. I guess everyone must have a middle name if the IRS is going to have an easier time tracking us down. Hope it makes em' be happy, so shout out your middle name, and remember to declare the value of all those Middle Name Pride Day gifts you got on your taxes.

International Day of Awesomeness! Are you sure? I guess it was an awesome day because Mario made a reservation using his landline telephone and took himself to a lunch that cost a lot of paper money, after filling his stapler, shooting off a donation to the salvation army, and doing a googling to find out when Men and Boys HIV/AIDS Awareness Day is. (Actually, there isn't one. The closest you can get is Gay Men HIV/AIDS Awareness Day). Then Mario shouted out about his middle name (withheld upon request), and started his income taxes. Yeah, awesome day alright!

Saint John Ogilvie Day! a saint from Scotland, martyred for handing out bibles and rosaries. The nerve of him!

Well, that was our awesome Monday. Today is Tuesday the 11th of March, and another strong day of celebration! Starting with,...

Dream 2014 Day! I think this one is of fairly recent origin. It also sorta lacks substance, like someone just dreamed it up as an excuse to have something to celebrate.

Johnny Appleseed Day! Hey, a real celebration day! It celebrates the life of John Chapman who, well, if you don't know, he was a real American into ecology and agriculture before it was en vogue. He planted all over the country, and guess what he planted,... wait for it,... Apple trees! From which you get apple seeds. Well, actually you get the seeds from the fruit. Dig a hole in the snow and plant your apple seeds! Did you have an apple today? I did! A ripe yellow delicious apple. If you buy apples in the store, you have to let them sit and ripen. If you eat them fresh from the store you are actually getting green apples that are artificially colored. Buy your apples about two weeks ahead of time to let them ripen, or you won't even know what a real apple tastes like.

Organize Your Home Office Day! Okay, now I know we just celebrated this one in the past week. That is one of the troubles with minor celebration days; people lose track of whether it is celebrated on the calendar date or the third Tuesday of whatever month. Then, in the following year, some people celebrate it on the same calendar date, and some on the third Tuesday of whatever month. This is also a giveaway to the origin of the celebration. If it is a movable celebration and moves around to fall on a Monday or a Friday, or other weekend day, then it is probably from a marketing department celebrated around a spending pattern. But, if you haven't already organized your home office, well, give it a whack.

World Plumbing Day! I wonder if this is really celebrated all over the world? Outback of OZ? Central Africa? The Gobi? Maybe a little overreaching on this one.

Buzzard Day! Go celebrate a buzzard. How do you do that? Leave it some road kill? Buzz? This one ranks right up there with,...

Festival of Life in the Cracks Day! Oh, come on, now. You just made this one up, didn't you? I mean, truly. This has 'homemade' stamped all over it. If you have fallen through the cracks, get up. Go organize your home office. Have an apple, or feed one to a buzzard. Or at least flush your troubles down the toilet and celebrate the plumbers of the world, who do us great good (even if their marketing department is still trying to figure things out). Abandon the cracks! Join the rest of us. No one is gonna' do it for you.

Worship of Tools Day! Straight from the marketing department! I know some folks like their tools, but worship is a pretty strong term.

I did once have a screw driver that I admired. Crossed two leads inside a TV with it and destroyed the shaft. I sighed when I threw that one away. The TV did work great after that for the rest of the summer. Someone took my good hammer once. That always bothered me. If I found out who did it I might have nailed him. But, none of that rises to the intensity of worship. This one needs to go back to the marketing department with a memo: try again.

Saint Aengus Day! He was known as a scholar, a poet, a hermit, and a monastic. I'd like to say celebrate with a good cut of Aengus beef, but that could probably be construed as irreverent, so I'm not going to say that.

Instead I will just say, Saints, John Ogilvie and Aengus, pray for us.

9 On March 9

I was originally thrilled at the prospect of celebrating so many new holidays! Although the holidays go on, the thrill is gone. None-the-less, I must go on with the celebrating whether I like it or not!

Here is a practical thing to celebrate,...

Sunday! A day of R&R! Put aside your labors and give thanks to God for a day off. We are too close to this and so we forget that by the Decree of God, we are to celebrate and enjoy one out of seven!

Everyday we are a day closer to spring, and the proof is that today is finally,...

Daylight Saving Time! Celebrate with an extra hour of sunlight and say thanks to Ben Franklin for yet another of his inventions.

You are probably glad to finally have signs of spring in this long winter, but here is another thing to celebrate because of that cooped-up feeling and desire to go out without a heavy coat, and to places you don't need to worry about road conditions, and you can celebrate that because today is also,...

Cabin Fever Day! Yeah, I feel it too. When those walls start closing in you may just feel like celebrating what is also,...

Panic Day! But it won't last too long if you remember and celebrate what is also,...

Get Over It Day! (Again, who comes up with these?) So, yeah, it has been a long, cold, gray winter, but in just a few short months spring will come to the northern states and the snow will be over, the thermometer will climb up above freezing again, and you can complain about the heat while you cut the lawn in the blazing 60 and 70 degree weather. So, get over it. You just need something to do to take your mind off of the waning days of arctic chill, so celebrate this next one,...

Check Your Batteries Day! You may as well. What else do you have to do, chop wood for spring? Check the flashlights, the smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, plug-in the rechargeables, and you will be ready to go! Still have energy? Celebrate,...

Organize Your Home Office Day! Now that the batteries are well in hand, straighten that stack of papers, empty the waste basket, do some filing, and maybe even pay a bill or two. See, that doesn't make you feel better? You are probably in a good mood from all this celebrating, but good news! The party just goes on because it is also,...

Girl Scout Sunday! Let's hear it for the Girl Scouts!!! Buy a cookie! And, though we are almost done with the celebration, if you still have energy and time (and money), buy your Girl Scout a present because it is,...

Barbie Day! That would be one way to celebrate it. If you are delusional, you could celebrate it by going to the gym for several hours and try to duplicate the look, but it is probably less dangerous to simply buy one for a Girl Scout. Assuming you have one tiny squibb of energy left, there is still one final thing to celebrate,...

Joe Franklin Day! Who is Joe Franklin? Is he the same Franklin who started Daylight Savings Time? Nope! that was Ben (whose day is January 17). So who is Joe Franklin? He was a TV host and radio host, and still does interviews for NYC media. He holds a record for the longest tenured talk show, wrote books and cameoed in some movies. If not a world celebrity, he is at least a local one in NYC and popular enough they gave him his own day. True, he has to share it with all the others, but then, how many days do you have? So celebrate with the best of 'em. If this is your special day, anniversary, birthday, confirmation day, baptism day, whatever day, send up a thought for Joe, and all the people celebrating their own days.

Hey, almost forgot,

Saint Frances of Rome Day! She married and had three sons and many trials (not surprisingly, in Rome). In later life she was a mystic and contemplative, and died in a convent she founded. A tough woman in tough times.

Saint Frances of Rome, pray for us.

March, March, March,…

And the crazy days of March just keep rolling along. The thing I don't get is the frequent grouping of similar or overlapping days.

Picking a special day to celebrate shouldn't be like throwing a dart at a board, or like having your child throw a dart at a board. It ought to be with purpose, appropriateness, and above all, rspectfulness.

I suppose there must be the exception, but must the exception become the rule? There are certainly days I do not wish to celebrate in the spirit of the name of the event, like,...

Be Nasty Day! I will actually try not to celebrate this one, except possibly in my wonder over the actual need for,...

International Fanny Pack Day! To celebrate, strap one on and strut down the road like you own it. Why is this a celebration? It doesn't quite seem to be on par with the next group. With which I have no problem, except for the obvious conflict of having them all on the same day. Why not space them out?

International Women's Day!

Day for Women's Rights & International Peace!

International Working Women's Day!

I think it creates some confusion to have all of these on the same day; a little competition as well. Either you have to try and celebrate them all or pick one and not honor the others. You could have one big celebration and celebrate many facets of each or just the points in common intersection, but why not space them out a bit?

Girls Write Now Day! This is actually good placement coming on the same day as,...

National Proofreading Day! At least, even if serendipitous, it looks planned.

Genealogy Day! Okay, I'll buy into this one. As long as I don't have to either join or hate anyone else's religion, pay dues to a club or new website, and as long as being a part of it doesn't offend anybody or trip over the EEO guidelines.

National Peanut Cluster Day! Any celebration with a confectionary element is hard to run against.

St John of God Day! He was devoted to serving the poor, founded a hospital, and the knightly order of the Hospitallers.

Saint Senan Day! a Bishop and one of the "Twelve Apostles of Ireland". He founded a monastery and was regarded as learned.

Saints John of God and Senan, pray for us.

March On, Day 7

We have so many celebration days on the calendar it is nearly nutty, but in the month of March I am giving a whack at doing something celebratory to them all! No matter how nutty that is, and also commenting a bit on the nuttiness of having so many, and so many that beg the question, 'why was this holiday created to begin with?'

Continuing this celebration of days in March, we have a fine collection of options. You may celebrate all or any of them as you wish. Start the day off right with a great bowl of nutritious breakfast because it is,...

Cereal Day: Many modern cereals contain sugar, additives, preservatives, sugar, coloring, flavoring, wood pulp (aka, cellulose), with traces of various grains and are usually sweetened with sugar. Having modern cereal can sure kick-start your day with a great jolt of high energy! The most popular way to eat cereal is by drenching it with cream or whole milk that is fortified with vitamin D, bovine growth hormones, cholesterol and sugar. Add coffee as a beverage. (You can enjoy your coffee with a healthy dose of cream and sugar as well)! Starting the day that way will help you to talk fast and smile a lot for hours!

National Crown Roast of Pork Day! Someone in marketing didn't get the memo. You already don't sell Crown Roast of Pork to Moslems and Jews, vegans and vegetarians, which reduces your market share significantly. Catholics, therefore, as a quarter of general population are actually a larger percentage of your potential customers after you knock out those other parts out of the demographic. So it is a mystery to me why you would make a Friday in Lent National Crown Roast of Pork Day! It must be your smallest market-share day of the year. You need to try and move this one. Maybe shift it over and share the day with Deep-Fried Ham Hock Day or something like that. But, if you were wondering about the drop-off in sales despite making it a focus-day in your marketing it pays to know that most Catholics don't eat meat on Fridays in Lent. If you are a portion of the target demographic who can eat pork today, have at it! (Make up for the rest of us and help save the pork producers. No, that isn't the same as politicians).

Here's a problem it is both: Employee Appreciation Day! and National Salesperson Day! You see the problem, right? You want employees to feel special, but you make salespeople twice as special by having both of these celebrations on the same day. How did no one see this coming? If you separate sales people from the other employees you create a caste system within the company. I don't know what you are going to do at this point. The damage may already be done. If there is just Employees Day, then all employees are special. But what does it mean to have both of these events on the same day? Why aren't sales people celebrated along with the rest of the employees? Not good enough? They don't do the real work? Or, are they better than the rest? So special, in fact, that they get to have their own day as well as the general employee day. Super employees, Uber employees. So, whether it is a special day or a double day or an extra day, someone now gets to say "Nah, nah, na-nah!" Started out trying to make someone feel special, and ended up with a Nah-nah. This could all have been avoided with a little forethought, or by moving one of these to a different day. Sad, really. So for,...

Employee Appreciation Day! Appreciate someone who works for you. And, for,...
National Salesperson Day! Go buy something and treat the sales person nice. (But, don't feed them or they will come to expect it).

Middle Name Pride Day: Some people might characterize this as a useless holiday dreamed up by frat-boys on spring break after too much beer. I wouldn't but some people might. I don't really have any good argument against that though, so I'll just move on.

Dress in Blue Day: Some people might characterize this as a useless holiday dreamed up by frat-boys on spring break after too much beer. I wouldn't but some people might. I don't really have any good argument against that though, so I'll just move on.

National Doodle Day: Wow! How nice! Someone must have known that this is one of the nick-names my wife and I use for each other, and named a day for us. I gotta' go and tell Doodle that now we have our own special day on the calendar. National Doodle Day. Now I feel as special as a salesperson on Employee Appreciation Day!

National Day of Unplugging: People are so into their media these days I don't know if we can actually 'unplug' our devices. I'd be happy if people would simply practice a bit more discretion in the places they use their hand-held media, like; movies, churches, busy places where other people are actually living their lives and having in-person conversations like retail locations and in mass-transit. We appreciate that you want to or need to speak to someone who is not present (used to be called psychosis or by some spiritualism), but that doesn't trump our right to communicate with the people who are present. We may give you a moment of silence to get an important detail, but when you say things like, "hey, I'm tryin' to talk to someone. Ya' wanna' shut up?" I'm probably going to say, "Nope!" And, oh yeah, one more thing to some of you other media addicts. Hang it up and drive.

National Be Heard Day: I don't know if they spelled this one right. It may be national b-herd day. A b-herd is the stunt herd of cattle used in low-budget western movies. They have it hard. If a herd of cattle is going to be run off a cliff or have a head-on collision with a powerful locomotive they don't want to use the highly paid star-cattle. The b-herd is used as stand-ins to shoot the dangerous scenes, and then the star-cattle are brought in afterwards to shoot the close-ups. Celebrate with a b-steak (unless you are Catholic).

Saints Perpetua and Felicity Day! Two pregnant women in ancient Carthage who refused to renounce Christ were martyred. Felicity was Perpetua's slave and would not leave her. Through their imprisonment the two women were steadfast in their belief and many were converted by the women's testimonies, bearing, and dignity. They became leaders in the local church, though still in prison, and spokespersons for the faith through their trials. They so impressed their captors that at their execution none of the soldiers dared to lift a hand against them until given permission to do so by Perpetua. God, give us leaders like Perpetua and Felicity. Perpetua and Felicity, pray for us.

World Day of Prayer: I really expected to see billboards around town. What does the world need more than prayer--except the answer to prayer? To celebrate this, what else: say a prayer for world peace.

Okay, this was a really busy day, so it is a good thing that there are only 6 things to celebrate. Six is still too many things to celebrate in one day, but it is at least manageable. And, then again, you may not wish to celebrate some of these today at all.

Day of The Dude: This sounds like an excuse for a holiday during spring break. I don't know that this celebration is even needed during March because there has already been World Wild Life Day--just a few days ago.

Nametag Day: Oye! Nametags are helpful and all that. But, good enough to rate their own day? It seems that if I am going to devote some of my time to celebration, since this comes at a great personal cost to me, there ought to be a compelling reason. I don't know if item 24 in the stationary catalogue quite rises to that standard. Especially when measured by something like,...

Oreo Cookie Day: Woo Hoo!!! Got Milk? I don't need to tell you how to celebrate this one! See, that is what a celebration day needs. Instant recognition of the celebration by virtue of what it is. Hoorah Oreo!!!

World Book Day: We had Worldbooks when I was a kid. I liked the pictures. That's what they used to do,...hook you on Worldbooks, then switch you over to Time/Life books in Highschool, and finally to coffee table books when you are grown up. Celebrate by having a cup of coffee and holding a book. Try to look studious. But, it is still better than a trip to the Dentist, even on,...

Dentist's Day : Hey, don't knock 'em. Just imagine how things would be without them. They have a tough job in which they receive little appreciation and thanks. They may not make you smile, but they make your smile look nicer. Celebrate by smiling.

How would you like to have a job whose main function places incredible pain and suffering on the very people you are supposed to serve, where the very people who most need to trust you fear you instead, a job which makes people want to avoid you and dread the very mention of your name? Huh? No, I'm not talking about being a politician. But that was a good guess. No, we aren't talking about Dentists anymore. What made you think that? I was talking about Math Teachers. Because today is also,...

Sofia Kovalevskaya Math Day: Celebrate by teaching someone a thing or two!

National Frozen Food Day : You can celebrate this if you want. It is on some lists as being earlier in the month, but this is a holiday that can be safely stored in your freezer, which makes it conveniently movable! One of the benefits of a holiday such as this is that you can take it out and thaw it anytime you need a holiday. You can make every day a Frozen Food Holiday! Ronald Reagan gave us this one. A good way to celebrate it might be to have some frozen foods that are rich in MSG, sugar, salt, water, flavoring and red dye number three. Don't forget to take your vitamins to replace all the essential nutrients removed during processing, and be careful not to consume the artificial estrogens in the plastic packaging that may have leached into the food during processing, shipping and storage. The surgeon general has not evaluated this holiday to determine what the heck it means. Available now in your freezer section.

Marchamundo Day 5

See! This is what I mean, sixteen things celebrated on The fourth, and only six today, and I had to beat the bushes to find those six! We could afford to space some of these days out a little more. But we are here to celebrate, not to complain!

So start out with introspection because this is,...

Discover What Your Name Means Day! You can find out by going to your bank and asking for a reduction on your note and stating your name. That is a really fast way to find out what your name means! But for a lot of people, just google it. For some people this will be redundant coming a day after Unique Names Day. But, what the heck, celebrate it anyway.

National Absinthe Day! Woo Hoo! If you have real Absinthe it is one of the strongest and oddest concoctions you will ever have. If you can afford it, then you probably don't have genuine. Genuine Absinthe used to be illegal almost everyplace in the world because it is alcoholic--you knew that--narcotic, bet you didn't know that, and halucinogenic. Three in one. I'll bet it used to be very popular on World Wild Life Day. It is also a cumulative poison, but why be so dour. It is really expensive to produce the original, but now there are supposedly copies of it that are non-narcotic, non-halucinogenic, and taking all the fun out of it, probably not poisonous either. It is a famous high. The artist Toulouse Lautrec loved it and said of it, "Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder." I'll go with a cold Wisconsin beer instead, but not today, because today is,...

Ash Wednesday! The first day of Lent. All the fun food left the house yesterday. Now we put away our self-oriented desires and discipline ourselves body and soul. Alcohol only on Sundays. Sundays are still a celebration, so ordinary discipline may be suspended. On Sunday I might have some alcohol on a sundae, because ice cream will also be back on the menu. Brandy on vanilla sounds good. But today, ashes as a sign of repentance. Get them free at a church near you.

Saint Piran's Day! Named for an Irish Saint and the patron of tin miners and of Cornwall. Not sure how to celebrate it, since I'm not from Cornwall and I'm not a tin minor. But it is also,...

Saint Kieran's Day. Also Irish and considered one of the "Apostles of Ireland", and according to some it's first saint (before even well honored Saint Pat himself who is a little later in the batting order--March 17th). Kieran was a pal of Piran and possibly one of his teachers. I guess if you celebrate Ash Wednesday you are probably good with the celebration of these dudes. It's what they would do.

Multiple Personality Day! Are you kidding me? Does anyone want to celebrate this? How would you celebrate this? I was a psychotherapist for years and had patients with this diagnosis, and I can tell you for sure, they aren't celebrating. Not any of them, and not any of them either. But, maybe this is just a call to be aware of the diagnosis. I think they would all just rather have a day off. Celebrate it by taking a break.

Kieran and Piran, pray for us.

Zaney Days March On

Well, four days of celebration down, and 27 days just chocked full of more celebrations to come as we talk our way through the nutty number of different celebrations people have come up with to mark the passing of time and the important, or trivial, events of life.

We are entering the Lenten season tomorrow, and whether you participate in it or not, it seems to have had a significant impact on the western world. Lent is a time of dealing with sins and shortcomings, and focusing more attention on knowing God in preparation for the passion of the Christ, his cross and his resurrection.

Since it is celebrated in so many ways in so many cultures it has left some interesting customs.

First, shrove customs. Shrove or shrive has to do with confessing one's sins, receiving an action to perform to show penitence, and the receiving absolution for one's sins. Then, celebrate! With food.

The Polish have pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, or--Paczki Day! I guess a paczki is a pancake, my Polish friends can straighten me out on that if I am wrong.

Is it a coincidence that it is Pancake Day in America? Not to be left out of it IHOP calls it National Pancake Day. I think it is a different way to say the same thing with somewhat stronger marketing overtones, and not a different pancake holiday celebrated on the same day. But, it is also National Poundcake Day. I don't know if that comes from misspelling, jealousy, or additional competition and marketing.

In Germany they parade on Fasching Day. Same thing as Shrove Tuesday with a march. March in March? Why not?

Shrovetide is the period usually of three days immediately preceding Ash Wednesday. In The Royal Shrovetide Football Match, considered the worlds oldest form of football, the celebration includes a one or two day football match between the people who live on the north side of town and the south side of town in Ashbourne, UK. Not teams representing the good folks, but the good folks themselves, all who are willing. The periods of the game can be up to 8 hours long. The goals are eight miles apart. No limit to team size. Why doesn't the NFL know about this?

The Spanish and Hispanic cultures celebrate Shrove Tuesday as Mardi Gras. That is, Fat Tuesday. To prepare for the fasting and somber mood of Lent they try to eat the last of the fun food and have the last of the fun times today. Yesterday was World Wild Life Day, but Mardi Gras will do as a replacement today in case you missed it.

Holy Experiment Day! It feels like you should say 'Batman' after that. It means try something spiritually new. So, If you have never done it before, have a pancake and say a prayer for world peace. Or, something else.

Not sure where to put this next one.

Courageous Follower Day! Hey you! Get back in line. Do you get this? I see this attitude more and more--part of the Mundane Movement, and that does make me scratch my head. We used to hold up the ideal of learning to stand alone and stand for something. Does it actually take courage to be a follower? Isn't that actually the problem with so many followers is that they just go along with things? I think today we have too many fearful leaders and to few people who can stand up for themselves. I suppose if you follow Jesus Christ who guarantees persecution to his followers that would actually take some courage. I don't think that is the intention here. So, decide what it means to you, and then lead, follow or get out of the way!

Town Meeting Day Vermont. Here!

Benjamin Harrison Day! He was 23rd President of the United States. He fought in the "war to free the slaves," as a general. His administration did a lot of good things he is remembered for, but google him. Worth it. He was a leader.

Old Inauguration Day! Up until 1933. It was Benjamin Harrison's Inauguration Day. But seriously, does anyone still celebrate this? If I had a saloon I would have an Old Inauguration Day celebration as an excuse to sell more drinks, but if we changed to a different Inauguration Day, please, let this one go. We still have seven things to celebrate today that we didn't even touch yet.

Next set is interesting and I feel the urge to say, "nice grouping."

Hug a GI Day!
Toy Soldier Day!
Peace Corp Day!

All on the same day? These three are a really interesting juxtaposition. It kind of seems chilling on the same handbill as Courageous Followers Day, I mean, the soldiers actually are the courageous followers. This grouping seems to fit in with the mundane philosophy, but almost trivializes soldiering. These three should be separated and done on different days. Not that the Peace corps is trivial. They are laudable. They are not military.

Second Tuesday of the month, so this is also a voting day in some places for primaries and referendums. Lets vote. All in favor of moving these celebrations to different dates raise your right hand. No, I mean your other right hand. That's good. All Opposed? Okay then, It's settled. Move these three to different dates. Form a committee and we'll check your progress next year.

March Forth-Do Something Day: Too cute. Get the pun? March forth on March Fourth. LOL. The Germans beat you too it with their Fasching Day.

International Scrapbooking Industry Day! I'm speechless. A picture is worth a thousand words.

National Grammar Day: Ya'hey! One time 'dere, Stanho; bend it, buddy! Get me? I'm sure up fer 'dis.

Unique Names Day! It is what you can celebrate when you write out an explanation of all the March celebration days and hear the things they call you if they don't like what you say.

Day Three of the Marchies

Or, things people want you to celebrate on March 3rd.

Okay, the third awesome day of March-day celebrations. Some cool, some huh-what? And some, 'yeah, I can buy into that, sorta'.

Casimir Pulaski Day! In the American Revolutionary War we had some help. I should say they had some help because I wasn't actually there at the time. But, there was the help of many, including military leaders from Poland; among them was Casimir Pulaski. Pulaski, Von Steuben, and Kosciuszko all were heroes of that war--gifts to us from Poland. Poland, salute! I hope that Von Steuben Has a day too. He has at least one city (Steubenvill, OH). Pulaski also has a high school named for him in Milwaukee. As far as I know Kosciuszko has only a Park named for him in Milwaukee. I'm sure that the number of things named after someone doesn't necessarily reflect their military contribution, which for all of these men was considerable! He might simply have the least amount of things named for him because his name is the most difficult to pronounce. This information is brought to you because today is also...

Fun Facts About Names Day! But you knew that already, right? How ever did we get on before this holiday! I feel so enriched! Here is another fun thing to celebrate today:

What If Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs? Day! Well, what if? Think of the things you could train dogs to do and the trouble that cats could cause! Dogs would certainly be more useful, and cats more haughty. Tom and Jerry, and Spike the bulldog all had opposible thumbs and just think what it did for them!

NEA's Read Across America Day: That's what the NSA does every day, isn't it? Oh, wait,... this is the NEA. Never mind, this is completely different. (Nearest School Day to Dr. Seuss's Birthday 3/2) We did this one yesterday--the actual day. If you read something then you can probably count it for today. If not, then think of today as a second chance! Just to clear up a technicality, you don't actually have to cross America while you read something. That is just what they call idiomatic. (No one is calling you an idiomatic). Just read something.

Princess Day. I thought this would have come on the 15th of March, but I'm not in charge of scheduling and that stuff. Maybe it is here as a lead into...

World Wildlife Day!!! Woo Hoo!!! (And a big welcome back to those returning from checking how I spell my name). Not a coincidence that this comes on the same day as...

Want You To Be Happy Day! And what better way to celebrate this than to smell the flowers! Because this is also...

Peach Blossom Day! Go and smell some peach blossoms! (If you can find them in this cold!) I love peach blossoms and always used to drive through peach country with my windows open. Definitely worth it! (Georgia is really cleaning up on day-celebrations at the beginning of March).

National Anthem Day in the USA! National Anthems are important. My grandfather was Canadian and my father made all of us kids learn Oh Canada so we could sing it at sporting events if a Canadian team was visiting. That was to honor his heritage as well as to let a visiting team know that they had some support in the stands. If this isn't your nations Anthem Day, it does no harm to think of your own nation's ideals and celebrate with us in the spirit of good will towards our fellow human beings. I wish you well. We started out with Revolutionary War heroes, and fun facts about them, so I guess it is appropriate to continue with a bit more American patriotism.

In that spirit I wish to share the complete Star Spangled Banner and its ideals. When we live what the song says we have a better nation. I think when the world lives those ideals we also have a better world.

The Star Spangled Banner

O say can you see by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner, O! long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country, should leave us no more?
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation.
Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the Heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave![12]

Francis Scott Key

A fifth verse was added 40 years later, after the American Civil War, by another.

When our land is illumined with liberty's smile,
If a foe from within strikes a blow at her glory,
Down, down with the traitor that tries to defile
The flag of the stars, and the page of her story!
By the millions unchained,
Who their birthright have gained
We will keep her bright blazon forever unstained;
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave,
While the land of the free is the home of the brave.

Oliver Wendell Holmes SR. (Father of Justice Olivre Wendell Holmes. I guess it does matter what you teach your kids).

St. Katharine Drexel's Day. St. Katharine, pray for us.